


Mirrors

by celeste9



Series: Superheroes [3]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Gen, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Shapeshifting, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1839643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claudia had had the dreams every night for a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> For 'mind and body' on my Primeval bingo card. Thanks to fredbassett for the beta.

Claudia had had the dreams every night for a week - walking through a room to stop in front of the mirror and the face that looked back at her wasn’t her. It was _her,_ but it wasn’t, subtle differences that were enough to be completely alien. She dreamed of being someone else and when she awoke she had memories, memories that weren’t her own.

Sometimes she would go to her bookshelf and pause, thinking, _I own that?_ And then she would remember again. Sometimes her cosy little house didn’t feel like hers, it felt like she was living someone else’s life, but that, too, passed.

The worst was when someone called, “Claudia?” and Claudia did not immediately recognise her own name.

“I think I’m going crazy,” she said to Nick. 

“Don’t say that. You’re the only sane one in this whole place,” Nick replied with a grin.

Claudia wanted to smile back but she was afraid her attempt would look more like a grimace. She swept a lock of hair behind her ear and chewed on her lip.

Nick carefully settled his hand on her shoulder, leaning in to better catch her eyes. “What’s wrong, lass? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

“That’s exactly the problem! I think perhaps I have.”

“A ghost? I know we deal in oddities but that’d be a new one, even for us.”

“Well, not a ghost, exactly, I suppose, but I feel like… I just feel as though something is haunting me.” Claudia blew out a frustrated breath. “I can’t explain it.”

“Perhaps you’re working too hard,” Nick pressed gently. “Have a break, take a few days leave for holiday. I’m sure Lester would allow it.”

Claudia shook her head. “No, I… I think I’m fine, really. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Nick didn’t look convinced but he nodded anyway. “All right. But I’ll be keeping my eye on you, just so you know.”

Claudia did manage an actual smile at that. “Thanks, Nick.”

-

When Claudia’s ability had first started to manifest, she had nearly lost a handle on who she actually was. When she could look like anyone, it was easy to forget Claudia Brown. 

She would wake frightened, not sure who she was; she would run to the mirror, scared of what face she would see. She remembered crying on her mother’s shoulder and asking, _Do I look like me? Is this me?_

Sometimes she hadn’t been certain. Was her hair quite the right colour? Were her eyes supposed to be brown?

Claudia had begun to keep a picture in her pocket, like a talisman. A picture of herself that she could take out and look at whenever she wanted, whenever she needed to know that she was still _her._ She could look at her face in a mirror (she kept a little compact mirror, too, like women did for make-up, but make-up application was only a secondary purpose for hers) and then at the picture, just so she would know. Just so she would be sure.

She had shifted sometimes, without even meaning to, early on, before she could control it. Claudia thought that without that picture she would have been lost.

She often wondered if that was what happened to people like her, people who couldn’t control it. Did they become lost in a multitude of faces, unable to remember who they were? Did they lose themselves in an ever-shifting image, unable to find the one that fitted?

Claudia had nightmares like that, even now.

She had nightmares of becoming lost, and no one could pull her back. She dreamed that men would come and take her away, lock her in a room with nothing but a mirror, and every time Claudia looked in it there would be another face, and the face was never hers. 

She was always crying when she finally woke up.

-

“You look tired,” Sarah said, plopping herself down in the chair next to Claudia’s desk.

“Thanks,” Claudia said.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. Cutter says you’ve been having trouble sleeping.”

“Has he?”

“Oh, don’t be cross. He only told Stephen. You know he tells Stephen everything.”

Claudia found herself smiling. “And then Stephen tells you everything.”

Sarah matched Claudia’s grin. “Obviously. But that’s not the point. The point is, something’s the matter. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Claudia said, averting her eyes. She knew that Sarah was only concerned for her, and she appreciated that, she did. But she wasn’t sure this was something she could talk about. Not to Sarah, anyway. Sarah wouldn’t understand.

The real problem was that Claudia didn’t think anyone would understand.

“Claudia.”

“I’m fine, honestly. You’re right, I haven’t been sleeping well. I…” Claudia hesitated. “I’ve been having weird dreams, that’s all.”

Sarah’s eyebrows drew together. “What sort of weird dreams?”

“Just… I don’t know, _weird_. Like I’m not myself.”

“Like when you were learning to control your powers? Like that?” Now Sarah was beginning to sound actually alarmed.

“Not exactly.” Claudia pushed her chair back, but she didn’t stand up. “I don’t know, Sarah, I can’t explain it. I’m sure it will pass.”

Sarah looked dubious. “Perhaps you should speak to someone.”

“Yes? And who would you suggest?”

There was a pause. “Lester?”

Claudia snickered, and then Sarah joined in. “Yes, that would go marvelously well. I can picture it now. I would say, ‘James, when I fall asleep I dream I’m someone else.’ And he would calmly pick up the phone and procure a padded cell just for me.”

“If you’re lucky, he might let you have some time off sick.”

They both giggled. 

Then Sarah reached out, resting her palm over the back of Claudia’s hand. “Seriously, though, if this is something that’s bothering you, that isn’t going away… You know we would do everything we could to help you.”

“I know,” Claudia said, and somehow felt a little better than she had before.

-

The dreams weren’t going away.

Neither was the sense of dissociation from her own life. Claudia felt like she was drifting through the days in a haze, her head foggy from lack of sleep and from… from a feeling that there was someone in her head, someone that made her feel like she was a stranger in her own life.

What probably should have worried her was that she didn’t entirely mind.

The… the _presence_ she felt, the stranger that had seemed to latch onto her, didn’t feel frightening or strange. It felt familiar. Claudia wanted to know it, whatever - or whoever - it was.

Claudia stepped in front of the mirror in her bathroom and closed her eyes. She let herself shift without thinking and opened her eyes.

Her hair had turned a few shades darker and richer. She raised a hand to touch her mouth, staring curiously at the bright red lipstick that Claudia would never have chosen herself.

_Jenny, Jenny, Jenny._

Claudia jerked back, clutching at her head. She shifted back, relieved to see her own face and its light touch of makeup, her own softly coloured hair.

That night she couldn’t sleep at all. She wondered who Jenny was.

-

The feelings grew stronger.

Claudia was having a hard time concentrating at work. She felt distracted all the time, like there was something else she needed to be doing, except she didn’t know what it was. Somewhere else she should be, something else she should be seeing.

She slipped into Jenny’s face more and more often, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. It didn’t feel right but it didn’t feel wrong, exactly, either. It didn’t feel like it did when Claudia wore the faces of strangers, or even friends. It felt like Jenny was someone important, someone special.

But Claudia had never seen Jenny before in her life, not truly. Claudia didn’t know who Jenny was.

Didn’t she?

-

“Have you ever felt like you might be another person?” Claudia asked Nick over dinner. “Like, if you had only made a different choice here, or turned right instead of left there, you would be someone else?”

Nick’s forehead was creasing in confusion. It was adorable. “No, I can’t say that I have. Claudia, have you thought again about taking that break?”

“You think I’ve gone mad.”

“No, of course not,” Nick said, like he was defending her even from his own comments. “I just think you might be over-tired, that’s all. You’re starting to sound like a pop psychologist, and that’s never a good sign.”

Claudia laughed. “I see your point. But I keep having these feelings, Nick, like I’m someone else, someone who’s almost me but isn’t.”

“Your wee ghost again?”

“Yes. Her name is Jenny.”

Now Nick was starting to look genuinely worried. “You’ve named her? Claudia, you know how I feel about therapists, but maybe you should really talk to someone. I’m sure Lester could--”

“No,” Claudia interrupted. “You don’t get it. I _want_ to keep seeing her. I know it’s important that I do. I feel like… she’s a part of me that’s been missing all my life only I never realised until now. I know how crazy that sounds.”

“Very crazy.”

“The thing is, Nick,” Claudia started, and then she hesitated. This was the part she had never said aloud. This was the _really_ crazy part. This was the part she had barely even allowed herself to think. “The thing is, I think she’s my sister.”

Nick stared at her blankly. “Your what?”

“My sister. You know how twins are supposed to have this special connection? I think I had a twin I never knew about.”

“Claudia…”

“Believe me, I know it sounds utterly ridiculous. But how else would you explain it? My dreams? The way I’ve been shifting without meaning to?”

The way Jenny felt as real to Claudia as she herself had ever been.

“Exhaustion, that’s how I’d explain it,” Nick muttered. But then he said, “If you’re dead set on believing this, then there’s someone who can tell you if you’re right.”

“I know,” Claudia said.

-

Claudia went to visit her mum. They sat down to have tea and while her mum began to pour, Claudia braced herself to do what she had to.

“I had a sister, didn’t I?” Claudia asked, but it wasn’t a question. She already knew the answer; she just needed to hear it said aloud.

Her mum’s hand shook on the teapot and she set it down. Her breath hitched, eyes bright with unshed tears. “Oh, Claudia. You have to understand, I wasn’t married, your father… Your father had left me and I didn’t even know how to raise one baby, let alone two. I had no job, no money, I’d barely started university.” She swallowed and Claudia grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. “I gave her up. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Claudia squeezed her hand tighter. “Oh, Mum. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry that you…” She broke off and then said, “Her name’s Jenny. I… She’s called Jenny. She looks just like me.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“I have absolutely no idea, but I do. Mum, I think she’s got a power, lately I’ve just… I’ve felt this connection. I thought I was going mad, but now I know it’s her.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I want to find her.”

“Oh, Claudia, darling,” her mum said, her eyes wet. “Do you think I haven’t tried? She’s gone, she’s in the wind.”

“Not to me,” Claudia said, face setting in determination. “Jenny will find me. She’ll find me when I ask.”

-

That night, Claudia lay in bed and closed her eyes. She cleared her mind, cleared it of everything. All her thoughts and anxieties and every stray emotion that flitted through.

Then she thought, _Jenny._ She concentrated with all her being on the face in her mind, the face that was nearly hers but not quite.

The response was almost immediate. _Claudia._

_I want to see you. Do you know where I am?_

_Yes._

Claudia opened her eyes. Her heart was racing but she felt better than she had in weeks.

-

“So what you’re telling me,” Lester said, his face carefully free of all expression, “is that a woman, a complete stranger, is going to want to enter our secure, government-run facility and you want me to put out the welcome mat for her?”

“Yes,” Claudia said.

“And she’s going to look just like you. Because she’s your half-sister. Whom you’ve never met and only just realised existed, because she’s been haunting your dreams.”

“Yes.”

Lester threw his hands up. “Well, who am I to prevent the reunion of long-lost siblings?”

“Thank you, sir,” Claudia said, deliberately ignoring his sarcasm, and left Ryan to deal with Lester. He’d had a lot more practice than Claudia would ever have, after all.

-

Claudia waited in the atrium for the soldiers to bring Jenny in. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this nervous, and she couldn’t even have said why she was. 

Jenny looked small, striding in between Becker and Ryan like she was being led to her execution, but there was strength and confidence in the way she carried herself. Though they shared the same face, Claudia doubted she could ever look like that. She could never manage that easiness in her own skin. 

She was too used to wearing everyone else’s.

Claudia herself remained standing in place, simply watching them approach. Her heart was pounding in her chest. This felt important, like the most important thing she had ever done or would ever do in her life.

The three of them came to a halt in front of Claudia. Claudia just stared.

It was like looking into a mirror that had been faintly distorted. They were the same, and yet Claudia knew she would never, ever mistake Jenny for herself. Beyond the superficial differences of hair colour, of the way she dressed and made up her face, Jenny just… wasn’t _her._

Jenny’s red lips curved into a smile. “Hello, Claudia. I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

Becker and Ryan were staring at them. Becker was positively gaping.

Claudia swallowed, her mouth feeling suddenly dry. “I hope I won’t disappoint.”

“You never could.”

“How did you…” Claudia stopped, unsure of how to proceed. 

“How did I know about you?”

“Yes.”

“Because we’re connected, Claudia. Can’t you feel it?”

“I thought you were _haunting_ me.”

Jenny laughed. “In a way, I was. I was in your head.”

“In my head?”

“That’s my power. I’m telepathic.”

Telepathy. Lester had wanted a telepath on the team for _ages._

“I’m sorry if I frightened you,” Jenny went on. “I didn’t know how else to reach out to you.”

“That’s all right,” Claudia said, feeling as thought she was swimming far out of her depth. What was she _doing?_

“We’ll give you some privacy,” Ryan said, ignoring Becker’s expression of dismay.

“Thank you,” Claudia said, though she knew the men would be only giving them the illusion of privacy. Claudia might trust Jenny instinctively but she didn’t expect anyone else to.

Jenny held out her hand. “I think we should meet properly. My name is Jenny Lewis.”

“Claudia Brown.” Claudia shook Jenny’s hand. 

Jenny’s handshake was firm. “I went to a family who couldn’t have children. I was their only child.”

“I was an only child, too. I mean…” Claudia stopped.

Jenny’s smile was amused but not mocking. “I know what you meant. Our mother…”

“She’s fine,” Claudia said immediately. “I think… I think she’d like to meet you.”

For the first time, Jenny seemed unsure of herself. “If you think that would be wise…”

“It would. It really, really would. Jenny, you’re my _sister._ I’ve missed you my whole life, I realise that now. I just didn’t realise what I was missing.”

“I’ve felt like that, too,” Jenny said, brushing her knuckles against Claudia’s cheek. “Like there was a hole I could never fill, no matter how I tried. And God, did I try.”

“I want to know everything about you,” Claudia said, and then impulsively, she flung her arms around Jenny, holding her tight. Jenny was stiff and unresponsive at first, and then her arms came around Claudia and she clung to her. “Will you stay? Come to work here with me, at the ARC. Please, say you will. Please.”

“I will,” Jenny said, and Claudia breathed out.

Whole. She felt whole.

-

Lester pursed his lips when they came into his office. “Oh, don’t tell me. Now you want me to give her a job. Ms Brown, I must remind you that--”

“She’s telepathic,” Claudia said.

Lester looked at Jenny with whole new eyes. “Can you start immediately?”

Claudia exchanged a grin with her sister. 

“Immediately,” Jenny agreed.

They had been waiting their whole lives. There was no need to wait any longer.

**_End_ **


End file.
